Post by Regitze on May 2, 2014 8:56:03 GMT -6
I thought it might be about time, I told somebody about this part of my story.
Before I start my story, I need to explain the Danish school system a little. The system is a bit different from the American one. But basically where you in America have different classes with different people, you are in Denmark stuck with the same 20 people in every class for the first nine years of school. I hope I explained this alright, it was a bit hard to explain.
I have always been very emotional, so as I child I cried easily. If I fell I cried, if a movie was a bit sad I cried (I still do that) and if I got mad I cried. I didn't necessarily cry because I was sad, but it was my way of dealing with the big emotions ( I think that's how you say it English, but I'm not sure)
in the smaller classes I got bullied because of this, I got called tudemarie (howling Marie), my name isn't even Marie, and I remember one time I was chased around school by a group from my class and some of the other classes and they were yelling tudemarie after me and laughing. This might be the worst Memory I have from my years in school.
A few years later they stopped bullying me and I started to think that maybe school wasn't that bad. But now looking back, those years might even have been worse. I had one true friend during that time and when she wasn't around I had my books, I think I can actually say that the books saved me, if I hadn't been able to live in the universes of books I might not even have been here today, but I didn't realize this before later on, when I found out how it feel to belong. Back to the story, those few years most people in my class pretty much ignored me and the only time I was worth talking to was when somebody wanted to use my brain. But they didn't just ask me to give them the answers. No, people would befriend me for a few weeks and when they didn't need my brain anymore or got bored with it they would just stop talking to me. This was really hard because every time they did this I thought I was the one who had done something wrong.
In those years teachers and my mom kept asking why I didn't interact more with the other children and my answer were always 'cause I like being alone and read. I had almost always a book with me to school so could read between classes and now I think this was because I, on some level, new what was going on. This all sounds very tough and hard, but I have good memories from this time too, it wasn't all bad.
That feeling of loneliness and being a third-wheel still haunt me from time to time. I hate being left out even if it's for something not important and I hate feeling like that. Sorry, I want to explain this feeling better but it's hard, partly because I'm not sure I fully understand it myself and because English ain't my first language.
I don't really tell this to people or talk about this time, because they don't really seem to truly understand it.
This has made a very strong and independent person, but It has also made me quite shy and private, which is something I'm dealing with everyday.
-Regitze
Before I start my story, I need to explain the Danish school system a little. The system is a bit different from the American one. But basically where you in America have different classes with different people, you are in Denmark stuck with the same 20 people in every class for the first nine years of school. I hope I explained this alright, it was a bit hard to explain.
I have always been very emotional, so as I child I cried easily. If I fell I cried, if a movie was a bit sad I cried (I still do that) and if I got mad I cried. I didn't necessarily cry because I was sad, but it was my way of dealing with the big emotions ( I think that's how you say it English, but I'm not sure)
in the smaller classes I got bullied because of this, I got called tudemarie (howling Marie), my name isn't even Marie, and I remember one time I was chased around school by a group from my class and some of the other classes and they were yelling tudemarie after me and laughing. This might be the worst Memory I have from my years in school.
A few years later they stopped bullying me and I started to think that maybe school wasn't that bad. But now looking back, those years might even have been worse. I had one true friend during that time and when she wasn't around I had my books, I think I can actually say that the books saved me, if I hadn't been able to live in the universes of books I might not even have been here today, but I didn't realize this before later on, when I found out how it feel to belong. Back to the story, those few years most people in my class pretty much ignored me and the only time I was worth talking to was when somebody wanted to use my brain. But they didn't just ask me to give them the answers. No, people would befriend me for a few weeks and when they didn't need my brain anymore or got bored with it they would just stop talking to me. This was really hard because every time they did this I thought I was the one who had done something wrong.
In those years teachers and my mom kept asking why I didn't interact more with the other children and my answer were always 'cause I like being alone and read. I had almost always a book with me to school so could read between classes and now I think this was because I, on some level, new what was going on. This all sounds very tough and hard, but I have good memories from this time too, it wasn't all bad.
That feeling of loneliness and being a third-wheel still haunt me from time to time. I hate being left out even if it's for something not important and I hate feeling like that. Sorry, I want to explain this feeling better but it's hard, partly because I'm not sure I fully understand it myself and because English ain't my first language.
I don't really tell this to people or talk about this time, because they don't really seem to truly understand it.
This has made a very strong and independent person, but It has also made me quite shy and private, which is something I'm dealing with everyday.
-Regitze
She is my best friend and she will peroberly be the first person I'll come out to. 
