Since I plan to Commit to this Thread, I suppose I should tell everyone a little about myself.
So.. My name is Vittoria "Tori" Vaughn
I always loved the concept of being married with kids. When I dreamt of marriage my dad was walking me down the aisle, Into my future, My life... This was one of the many instances in which I realized I had always seen myself as female, So I hid it.(I knew better than to tell my family how I felt)
when I started school I started ditching my male friends to hang out with the girls, my dad always played that off that I was a "good talker" (he's from 1948). little did he know I had a crush on my best male friend (from k-4) and had so much more in common with all the other little girls(since forever). but around my dad I'd alway butch up, On occasion I still do. I digress. I went on pretending to be infatuated with my female cohorts as opposed to just being besties(for the sake of my dad)for my entire school career until middle school began.
At this point I noticed I had begun having feelings for females as well, and to be honest I took solace in that(they can't disown me if I don't come out). so for the next few years I continued repressing my emotions regarding gender by staying at home(eating) and going to school and getting picked on for my weight. Followed by the return home to eat away the pain and continue life as an ever expanding recluse.
While I was putting on the weight I had also begun growing my hair long, the result was a very "passable"(<-hate this word) fat girl. it was when I got to my third try at 9th grade I left school and hid away from everyone I had known. I went on and experimented heavily with drugs from 16-19 years old and lost all the weight(*developed eating disorders)
When I was at my all time low, I met an amazing woman(and the catalyst so much change within me). she and her little daughter, brightened up my life and made me want to sober up, made me want to live for them, made me.. in time wanna live for myself too.
I came out to her because she showed me the love and compassion, that I never felt for myself, that I had never shown myself.
that I needed to feel for myself.
So at 20 I Came out, and I gained the ability to be open and free and I learned to accept myself regardless of if other accept me aswell... sure I lost some "Friends" and family members, but for all the people I didn't lose who turned around and told me they loved me and it was ok. our bonds are stronger than they had ever been.
One of my triggers: When hair grows on my chest and arms, despite lower then average testosterone levels.
Pass (verb)
Definition
In the trans* community, to pass is to be perceived as the gender you identify as. It’s typically, but not always, used in the context of a trans* person discussing their experience in the public world. There’s some debate around the term in that it connotes that one is trying to pass under the radar as someone they aren't when that isn't the case.
"Passing" can be used in any context when dealing with perception. Someone can pass as white, as poor, as straight, as butch, etc.
Usage
"She passes really well despite not being on hormones."
"It feels so good to pass and not be misgendered."
sourceMy Message:
Don't Wait too long to come out!/You never now who's gonna surprise you!
If I may encourage you, Please take just a few moments of your time to write a post of your own in this thread. I feel that if we take the time to build a report with one another, we can make the best of this forum while creating a welcome environment free of judgment.
So, please share your story.
-Tori
