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Post by cynthia on May 27, 2014 15:36:04 GMT -6
I've been feeling down lately, I believe I'm suffering from low self esteem and I don't know how to deal with it. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost four years, we get along great and he treats me so well. The problem is he can't deal with my up and down issues with my self esteem. For example, he would say something about say a women being pretty, one day I'm fine with, months later I get all mad at him about, we talk about it and I tell him I'm ok then months later I'm back at it again. You would think I'll be ok with it since Iam bisexual, I had bad self esteem after my ex and I broke up but I thought I was fine I guess not. I always think well if he Saids someone is pretty then he must think I'm not which isn't the case, the man brought me a home for us to share, he's so good to me but I'm afraid I'm going to ruining the best thing that has ever happen to me over this. HELP
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Post by Matt Stout on May 27, 2014 19:20:29 GMT -6
Cynthia,
I myself have dealt with going from one high, to a SUPER low just minutes later... More times than you know. We need to get you to a point where you LOVE yourself for who you are. It took me... 25 years to learn this, and once I learned to love myself for who I am, my life became 100% better. Find things about yourself that make you who you are. Find things about you that are unique to you. Don't worry about who your boyfriend thinks is pretty, because he is with you. He is not with them. Look DEEP down inside you and find things that seriously make you who you are. When you finally find those things, and love yourself for who you are you will NOT bounce back and fourth from happy to sad. The depression will fade away, and you will day by day get better and better. So here's what I want you to do... In your next post here, I want you to list 5 things you LOVE about who you are. 5 things that make you who you are... Ready... and GO!
(I can't wait to see what you come up with, and more advice will follow after that list!)
~Matt
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Post by Racheal Acuff on May 27, 2014 23:25:44 GMT -6
Cynthia,
I love Matt's idea about the list!! I can't wait to see what you come up with either! Yes I have dealt with the same issues following my divorce. I felt like I had failed and I couldn't do anything right. I didn't like anything about myself and it was really hard sometimes to just get up and go on. When I met my husband all that changed...eventually. It took me a long time to realize that he wasn't my ex. He was my soul mate and the love of my life. I did everything I could to push him away. Once I began to take a good long look at myself I remembered all the little things that made me happy and made me..ME! I embraced them and if others didn't like them then I didn't have those people in my life. I kept the ones around that loved my quirks and craziness, once I did that life was amazing and now I have the best husband in the world, two beautiful girls that make my hardest days just a littler easier with their innocent humor and unconditional love, and the best friend a girl could ever ask for! So loving yourself does amazing things!
Much Love,
Rae**
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Post by cynthia on May 28, 2014 8:38:01 GMT -6
Ok here my list of five things I love about myself
1. My smile
2.my curvy figure
3.my laugh
4. My sense of humor
5.the love I have in my heart for others
Thanks you guys so much for helping me with this issue. I didn't realize it was depression, and I do know he isn't like my ex, but I still have that little baggage left over.
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Post by cynthia on May 28, 2014 8:45:47 GMT -6
The five things that make me who Iam are
1. My ability to help those in need
2.my passion for peace
3. My poetry
4.music
5.family
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Post by Matt Stout on May 28, 2014 19:37:13 GMT -6
1. My smile 2.my curvy figure 3.my laugh 4. My sense of humor 5.the love I have in my heart for others Take these things... Embrace these things, and run with it!!! Don't ever let anyone make you feel like less of a person, and when you are feeling down... Remember that you have these things, and use them to make you feel better, about yourself, and the situation you are in at the time. The five things that make me who Iam are 1. My ability to help those in need 2.my passion for peace 3. My poetry 4.music 5.family Those 5 things are amazing!!! Again, when you get down... remember that these things (and so many more) make you who you are! Don't let other people get you down... Do not let your own thoughts get you down, and if they do just remember this list!!! Smile about life, and start making a new poem... or start listening to music, or talk to your family!!! It may sound crazy, but when you are having a "down slump" where you just feel so... DOWN... If you will do some of these things on this list, and be glad that you are doing something that makes you who you are... Something no one can ever take away from you... You will be amazed at how fast you will come out of that down feeling! Thanks you guys so much for helping me with this issue. I didn't realize it was depression, and I do know he isn't like my ex, but I still have that little baggage left over. I know what you mean. Still to this day Matt... My soulmate... The guy I am engaged to... I still hold things my exes did to me against him. I can't help it... I compare it to an abused puppy. Just because the puppy gets new owners, he still flinches when someone raises a hand. When you have been burned by others, and hurt by others SO MANY TIMES... It's hard to let your guard down... It is hard to NOT let the left over baggage effect things. But it will get better in time! A little each day!! |
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Post by cynthia on May 28, 2014 19:46:46 GMT -6
Thanks so much for talking the time to help me sort this out, I'm feeling much better today and I will work on my list. I think I'm going to go back to writing poetry as well, it seemed to helped me in the past, maybe getting out all that pain on paper will help. Thanks again Matt for being here for me I owe you one:)
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Post by Racheal Acuff on Jun 1, 2014 12:17:30 GMT -6
What amazing lists!! I love them! Like Matt said take them and run! Those things make you, YOU and being you is AWESOME!!! Keep your head up and stay strong!
Much Love,
Rae**
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Post by cynthia on Jun 2, 2014 22:52:48 GMT -6
Thanks a lot I've been feeling a lot better since I spoke to you guys. Saturday I wrote two new songs about some of my issues and I think I'm making good progress I'll keep you two posted
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Post by celliriane on Aug 10, 2016 0:06:13 GMT -6
Exactly.....amazed to see the list.
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