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Post by meaningoflife on Jul 20, 2014 4:47:10 GMT -6
Hello. I am new here. I came across the site on twitter. It took me a while to sign up, but I really need support desperately. Asking for help is hard, but it just felt really great doing so. I am a gay man recently returned to place of birth (not my choice) where being gay is illegal and stigmatized. I have no family support as they recently found out. I am also HIV+ and that makes it worse. My family isn't aware of that. Treatment options are available, but it puts you in the line of fire as there is no discretion and severe discrimination with businesses refusing to hire you. My friends and partner back home are being really supportive, but I find that I am becoming depressed and withdrawn. I try to put forward a brave face for them, but it is beginning to wear me down. I miss having someone to talk to, even face to face. It's easy to accept the hate here and accept that I will be discriminated and stigmatized. Taking it one day at a time here.
Thank you.
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Post by Matt Stout on Jul 20, 2014 14:14:38 GMT -6
Welcome to the forums!! We are glad to have you here!
You said you moved back to your place of birth. Where might this be located? This will make it easier for us to provide you with advice, and guidance if we know where you are located.
~Matt
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Post by meaningoflife on Jul 21, 2014 7:38:28 GMT -6
Hi Matt,
It's the Caribbean. I don't know why but I am not comfortable saying the island's name. Still feel in some way that it can be somehow traced back to me. Silly I know.
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Post by Matt Stout on Jul 24, 2014 21:07:18 GMT -6
I understand on not waiting to disclose your location. That is perfectly okay.
Have you looked at relocating to the US?
~Matt
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Post by meaningoflife on Jul 26, 2014 2:53:20 GMT -6
I am looking into that option but it's not as easy as that. It'll take a bit of time and that is the part that I am worried about to be honest. There are options but it's the length of time it'll take for it to happen and what could happen in the meantime.
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Post by Matt Stout on Jul 27, 2014 14:59:18 GMT -6
Time is just another challenge. Don't get worried... If you want something bad enough... You will find away to make it happen! Trust me, you will! (I've dealt with a similar situation before.)
~Matt
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Post by meaningoflife on Jul 28, 2014 8:12:25 GMT -6
Thank you Matt. I really appreciate your words of encouragement! It means a lot. I'm definitely keeping up the hope that things will work out and for the better soon. Thanks again
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Post by angelz123 on Jul 31, 2014 13:23:58 GMT -6
Hey Meaningoflife.
I hate that this is the situation you are going through. I wish there was another way for you to get the help you need without them judging you. Would you be willing to travel else where to get medical attention because your health= your happiness. Plus it is an awesome bonus that your SO is very supportive as well making the situation a bit easier. If you had no support this would make things a heck of a lot worst. During this time in your life, continue to lean on the support that you have and connect with other like minded people. It will help you feel more comfortable with who you are. Once I told my mom that I was gay she cried then wrote me a letter about how being gay would send me to hell. I still love my mom but from a distance ( long story) but all and all you have to be your own strength and you are much stronger than you think you are. If you need someone to talk to I am here my friend.
Make the decision to make today an awesome day!
-Amber
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Post by meaningoflife on Aug 1, 2014 13:56:59 GMT -6
Hi Amber!!
I really appreciate your kind words and support. It means a lot to know that I am not alone. I am already looking into options of travelling to escape my present location also make sure that I am obtaining the proper treatment. I did have an HIV specialist, but not being there anymore I am getting more and more anxious. It actually saddens me as my family is not accepting or supportive and have made it clear that they will never me, and given that this is a small island, the friends that I had before I moved away will not associate with me. I doubt that i will ever tell them my status. I am however taking it one day at a time and trying to control my stress. I am usually alone and find that I am able to think clearly about my future and life but sometimes I do wish that I had someone I could talk to face to face, but admit that I find great support here as well.
Thank you again Amber
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