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Post by ericaalmance18 on Aug 6, 2014 11:59:31 GMT -6
Hello! So I'm thinking of telling my parents that I am bisexual before the week is over. I'm super terrified because I really have no idea how they will react. Their religion is not a problem, but they really want me to be normal as possible. So I guess I'm really worried that it WILL make a difference to them. I know that they won't be too okay with it at first but I think they'll come around. I'm really really scared so if you have any tips on how to start that conversation or how to console them, that would really help. Wish me luck!!!
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Post by Matt Stout on Aug 6, 2014 16:22:35 GMT -6
I never actually had the chance to come out to my parents. I was outed by someone else. However, if you do not think it will be much of a problem, just say "Mom, Dad... There is something I want to talk to you about" and go from there, OR Go to Youtube, and look up some "Coming out to my parents live" videos. Watch what others do, and what they say to help you figure out how to bring up the topic.
However you decide to do it, best of luck! Let us know how it goes!
~Matt
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Post by katesdaughter on Aug 8, 2014 18:02:14 GMT -6
Hello! I don't know how old you are, or how much you need your parents for your safety and well being right now. If you are able to care for yourself, then tell them what you feel they must know. If you are in a position where you still need them for safety (home, food, school, etc.) and are afraid that they will withdraw that from you, then think carefully before you jeopardize yourself.
At all times, think safety first, whether it is sharing who you are with someone (yes, even parents) sharing your body, your money, your personal information- anything. Keep yourself uppermost, and don't compromise what you need to survive.
Take care now, and all the best to you.
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Post by Drew Steller on Aug 19, 2014 1:44:08 GMT -6
Dear Erica:
Coming out for an LGBT person is never easy. How you want to come out to your parents should be determined by your relationship with them. I've over the course of my short life met people who have very close and loving relationships with their family, while some barely have any kind of relationship at all. Like what Matt already said, it's a good idea to search the internet a little to see what other people have done, and see how their families responded to them. Also, as per what Kate said, it's also a good idea to make a list, sort of a pros and cons list of how this coming out would affect your living situation, etc.
You are the only person who could best predict how your parents would react to your coming out, since you've known them your whole life. Eventhough the world is so much more tolerant towards us today than it was 30 years ago, some people, regardless of how OK they are with LGBT people, may not be so accepting when it comes to their own flesh and blood. I remember a conversation I had with a guy I used to know in college almost 18 years ago, right after he found out I was gay. He didn't have any problem with me being gay, but he told me quite bluntly that he would disown anyone of his future kids should they turned out to be gay.
Going back again to what Kate said, you should know that my older brother was kicked out of our house when he was just 17, after he was caught fooling around with a boy (he obviously didn't get to come out to our parents). My parents have always been very loving (they did adopt me after all), but they have been brainwashed from a very young age to react very adversely toward people who identify themselves as members of the LGBT.
Perhaps in 150 years from now, your great-great-great grand kids will look at the contents of this forum and giggle at how silly we were, but for now, I wish you all the best in your coming out. Expect lots of questions like why, when, etc, and also be on the lookout for signs of hostility in their immediate response to your coming out (in case the signs are very subtle). I know this may be a little too late, but if you haven't already come out to them, observe how your parents react to LGBT people showing affection toward each other on TV (even if the actors or actresses are not gay). It can be the first clue you need to determine how they would react to your coming out.
Best of Luck.
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