Hey guys, this is my first time on here and I noticed there isn't a thread for this... hopefully I can get some support.
For some background, I'm an 18 year old lesbian living in Canada (Canadian Pride ) and I've been out for 8 years to my dad, 6 years out to friends and close family, and 5 years out publicly. I was very open with my sexuality through high school and got bullied, but overcame it with help from friends, family, and the school. I went through tons of mental health issues (not related to my sexuality, most of my friends and family were and are accepting), but am in recovery right now and am actually happy. But something's troubling me...
Some days I dress girly, and some days I wear a binder and dress androgynous. I identify as a female, but some days I feel more like no gender specifically. I don't think I could ever be male or androgynous, I do love being a girl, but I'm confused at this point. I questioned my gender about 4 years back, but then went through a really girly stage again. I hate to use these words (as everyone here probably does), but can this be a "phase" I'm going through? How do I identify really? Do I have to identify at all? Can my gender be fluid? I mean, I don't really like the male genitalia, and have had no good experiences with guys, but some parts of me some days wants to be... not a girl.
Gender itself is a fluid thing, sometimes people feel more or less masculine or feminine at certain times. But sometimes it can be a bit more of a rollercoaster than just drifting up and down. I identify as genderfluid, and I personally do it because I feel like I jump around a bit more than the normal up and down. Some days I want to be percieved as male, others I want to be percieved as female and others I want to be percieved as something in between. This is my experience, however. Different people experience gender differently and still identify with being genderfluid. Its all about what you feel is the right word for you
Also, naming your identity is not as important as making yourself comfortable with how you are experiencing life. Labels can be helpful, but more importantly are you happy with the pronouns (he/she/they/etc) that people use for you? Are you comfortable with being referred to as a girl/woman by others? If not, these are things you could ask people to change regardless of whatever word you want to use to describe your gender. Gender fluid is one of them, but there are many others that might fit. Here is a list of some of them to check out: genderqueerid.com/gq-terms. Another thing to remember is that genitalia has no impact on gender. Even if you eventually figure out you're not a girl, genitalia changed aren't compulsory to identify as something else. Transitions are to help people feel more at home in their bodies and if you want to identify as not cisgendered without changing your body at all, thats totally cool.
Post by katesdaughter on Sept 18, 2014 17:14:34 GMT -6
I flow back and forth between how I choose to dress, present and act from day to day. Some days I'm fluffy, flowing, and sparkly. Other days, I'm squared off, quite traditional, and very much not into the accoutrements of women. Somedays, I'm in between. I rather like flowing through life and not identifying as any one gender at any give time. I'm always a woman, and happy to be, thanks. But I don't and will not always present in a socially driven female construct.