Post by Putty on Dec 3, 2014 15:32:42 GMT -6
Hello everyone,
Thanks for taking the time to read this, I really appreciate any input.
So, the current situation I am faced with is that my friend and I (both straight girls) have recently been spending a lot of time together and have realised that there is a very strong attraction between us that is undeniable.. this was following a couple of nights where a friendly kiss became a more passionate one and after talking it through, to our surprise, both of us wanted more to happen from there - but there are some big problems with this. The biggest one being that I am currently in a stable and very happy long term relationship with a guy, whom I love dearly.. and I married him earlier this year.
So, I had to pull back quickly from this friend once I realised what was happening, so that I could stay faithful to my man and get my head around what was developing between me and this girl. Our connection is so unique and I love her more than as a friend.. as she does me.. which has been a shock to the both of us having never been attracted to girls.. and I still don't really think that either of us are into girls, but just into each other.. does that make sense at all?? It's so confusing. I feel like I've fallen in love with the person, who happens to be the same gender as me, and the physical side just flows on from that. Have other people experienced this?
I am also at a loss as to what to do, purely because my heart is confused.. there is a long term, happy, committed relationship with a guy on one hand... and on the other hand there is this mind blowing love I feel through the core of me for this beautiful girl, where it is completely foreign territory as neither of us have ever been with another girl.. and there is an uncertain future. I guess that I am also concerned that I am placing a lot more pressure on the potential new relationship as I am comparing to something that I already have, that I know will work long term.. so naturally in order to give up that future I am looking ahead at the long term and this is, I know, an unfair thing to ask of any potential new relationship. I also am concerned that I will lose her completely if I say no to a relationship, and that thought is terrifying as I love her dearly as a friend and wouldn't want to lose that ever - so I worry that this will factor in to my decision making and perhaps push me towards a relationship with her out of fear of losing her.. which is not ideal ground for starting a relationship on. Has anyone been in a situation like this.. where they are happily in a relationship, no problems at all with it, but fall hard and fast in love with someone.. not only that, but it being the first time you have fallen for someone of the same gender, so having to deal with a lot of sexual identity thought processes on top of everything?
Some advice or perspective would be very very welcomed! Thank you all...
Thanks for taking the time to read this, I really appreciate any input.
So, the current situation I am faced with is that my friend and I (both straight girls) have recently been spending a lot of time together and have realised that there is a very strong attraction between us that is undeniable.. this was following a couple of nights where a friendly kiss became a more passionate one and after talking it through, to our surprise, both of us wanted more to happen from there - but there are some big problems with this. The biggest one being that I am currently in a stable and very happy long term relationship with a guy, whom I love dearly.. and I married him earlier this year.
So, I had to pull back quickly from this friend once I realised what was happening, so that I could stay faithful to my man and get my head around what was developing between me and this girl. Our connection is so unique and I love her more than as a friend.. as she does me.. which has been a shock to the both of us having never been attracted to girls.. and I still don't really think that either of us are into girls, but just into each other.. does that make sense at all?? It's so confusing. I feel like I've fallen in love with the person, who happens to be the same gender as me, and the physical side just flows on from that. Have other people experienced this?
I am also at a loss as to what to do, purely because my heart is confused.. there is a long term, happy, committed relationship with a guy on one hand... and on the other hand there is this mind blowing love I feel through the core of me for this beautiful girl, where it is completely foreign territory as neither of us have ever been with another girl.. and there is an uncertain future. I guess that I am also concerned that I am placing a lot more pressure on the potential new relationship as I am comparing to something that I already have, that I know will work long term.. so naturally in order to give up that future I am looking ahead at the long term and this is, I know, an unfair thing to ask of any potential new relationship. I also am concerned that I will lose her completely if I say no to a relationship, and that thought is terrifying as I love her dearly as a friend and wouldn't want to lose that ever - so I worry that this will factor in to my decision making and perhaps push me towards a relationship with her out of fear of losing her.. which is not ideal ground for starting a relationship on. Has anyone been in a situation like this.. where they are happily in a relationship, no problems at all with it, but fall hard and fast in love with someone.. not only that, but it being the first time you have fallen for someone of the same gender, so having to deal with a lot of sexual identity thought processes on top of everything?
Some advice or perspective would be very very welcomed! Thank you all...
