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Post by Jamie on Dec 21, 2014 23:14:08 GMT -6
hi lately I have been questioning myself. I like guys and have liked them all my life but there is this girl who has been on my mind for the longest. I haven't stop thinking about her since I first laid eyes on her. I think she is the cutest most adorable thing at my school. We both play basketball. I'm a freshman on jv and she is a senior on varsity. If it wasn't for my homophobic family I would try to get to know her more. Every time I see her my heart stops. I've never felt this was about another girl or anyone. I feel terrible because I know my family would be devastated if they found out. I'm already different from them because I'm quite and shy and they are loud and outgoing. I'm scared if she rejects me things are going to be awkward for the team. Please someone help me.
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Post by harupoppo on Jan 10, 2015 20:23:00 GMT -6
It sounds like you have three obstacles here. The girl, your family, and yourself. I will start with advice about the girl because that is the easiest problem to tackle. First it may be awkward but find out if you can how she feels about dating girls. You could try asking straightforwardly or try to get her to tell you in a round about manner such as asking how she feels about gay marriage or about her past relationships. If she is somewhere on the lady love end of the spectrum then I would say go for it and at the very least, you have a friend. The LGBT community for the most part is very supportive and its likely that she would be considerate of what you're going through. If she isn't gay/bi/pan/whatever you have your answer without outting yourself. Now family obstacle. That one is a toughie. It is one of the most universal problems that our community has to deal with. All I can tell you is take it at your own pace and if you discover that you are not quite straight then tell your family when you feel ready and when it is safe for you to do so. I do not know how they will react but I do know that for the most part parents do not react as badly as kids expect them to. We tend to underestimate parental love. There are some that have bad reactions and if you really feel that your parents may have one, I would suggest waiting until you are in a position to support yourself before saying anything. Finally the biggest obstacle is yourself. Only you can know how you really feel. The best advice I can give you is look at lots and lots of coming out stories. I was in denial about being gay for the longest. I wouldn't admit it even to myself. But once I came to terms with it, I realized there were signs. Dreams about kissing female friends, liking to wear boy clothes, wanting my hair short, etc. Things like that had been happening for as long as I can remember. Coming out stories usually talk about how they knew they were gay. It is different for everyone so if you watch/read a lot of them, eventually it will give you some insight about clues your own past might hold about who you are. I hope this was helpful  |
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Post by Matt Stout on Jan 13, 2015 0:05:01 GMT -6
hi lately I have been questioning myself. I like guys and have liked them all my life but there is this girl who has been on my mind for the longest. I haven't stop thinking about her since I first laid eyes on her. I think she is the cutest most adorable thing at my school. We both play basketball. I'm a freshman on jv and she is a senior on varsity. If it wasn't for my homophobic family I would try to get to know her more. Every time I see her my heart stops. I've never felt this was about another girl or anyone. I feel terrible because I know my family would be devastated if they found out. I'm already different from them because I'm quite and shy and they are loud and outgoing. I'm scared if she rejects me things are going to be awkward for the team. Please someone help me. My advice to you is to follow your heart. I know that sounds cliche, but it is true. Try spending time with her in ways that won't raise red flags with your parents. Try talking to her more at school, at lunch time, before school, after school, things like that. As things progress you will be able to handle each new situation more easily. When it comes time to dealing with telling your family, let us know and we can provide advice for that situation as well. As for now, just take the time to get to know this girl. Also, don't be afraid of how things will turn out with the team. The team will come around, and everything will be just fine! Let us know if there is ever anything we can do to help! ~Matt |
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