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Post by MarvelFan on Jan 24, 2015 16:18:09 GMT -6
I nearly came out to my family today.
I was so close, and was mentally preparing a speech...I thought that today would be the day. Then I couldn't.
I got so worried that the dynamic between me and my dad would change, and because I have come to rely on that connection so much that even the thought of it changing scares the crap out of me (my relationship with my mum is strained at best).
I am so ready to come out, for people to know the real me... But I keep getting worried that I will either lose friends or that they will treat me differently.
I guess what I really want to know if anyone else can relate, which is why everyone is on this site right?
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Post by Matt Stout on Feb 8, 2015 19:55:30 GMT -6
But I keep getting worried that I will either lose friends or that they will treat me differently. What you are experiencing is normal. When coming to terms with your sexuality it is normal to have these fears, and these thoughts. I know I myself had them when I was about to come out. I did not let the thoughts and fears get the best of me though. I pushed them to the side, and I continued on being who I was. Did I lose "friends?" Yes. Will you lose "friends?" Yes. But what you will learn from this is those people who were your "friends" but no longer wanted to be your friend because you told them who you really are... were never your real friends to begin with. If they are your real friends they will not care. It will not bother them at all. If it does bother them, then clearly they were not your true friends to begin with. As for the situation with your father. No one wants to lose the relationship they have with their parents. Especially if it is a good relationship! Just talk to him up front. Tell him how important your relationship is to you. Express how you do not want anything to change that, and go from there. He may get hurt at first, and he may act a little differently, but eventually he will come around. Hope this helps a little. Let me know if there is ever anything you need! ~Matt |
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Post by roxxxycotton on Feb 10, 2015 23:40:25 GMT -6
I think generally most people are accepting, but I live in toronto where lgbt is very widely accepted and seen all the time. I know its scary and nothing will take that fear away but you really have to keep up the mentality of if anyone doesnt accept this, its for the best because youre just seeing them for who they really are and you dont need intolerant people in your life.
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Post by acrimonium on Mar 20, 2015 22:39:32 GMT -6
Hey MarvelFan!
I don't know if this will help, but I have a very similar experience to you, from what I can tell. I'm not long out of the closet to my family, only since the beginning of January, and I had pretty much the same fears as you. My parents, both nondenominational Christains with denominational backgrounds, were quite short of accepting (and still are). Toward the beginning of the year, I just about had a mental breakdown over my parents finding out, so I decided that I had to tell them. To make a long story short, it took three days of nagging and a two hour family meeting to get it out, but I did. To say they're supportive would be a massive exaggeration. They think it's wrong, I'm pretty sure they're sending me to conversion therapy, and they think if they pray hard enough I'll be normal again, but they still love me. And even though they're not in the least bit supportive, it hasn't changed our family dynamic too much (however, I feel it's important to note that my family ignores problems until they absolutely have to be faced, and we ignore their existence in all other times and discussions), and my parents still love me.
That's really the moral of the story, I guess. They're your family, and through all the stuff you face, they're there to love you to the ends of the Earth and back. And your true friends will always have your back. The bad ones sort of weed themselves out, in my oppinion, because I found that it was my true friends who stuck around and those whom I wasn't as close to were the ones to leave.
I hope all goes well!
Peace, love, and bear hugs,
A. Lee
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