Post by Étienne Baudine-de-la-Vaudet on Aug 19, 2015 21:41:06 GMT -6
Hello,
Last year my friend 'came out' as a gay to me, I somewhat thought that he was based on how he reacted (not acted) to some situations (he also called people faggots - sorry for using the word) but I believed that I asked too many questions because I was trying to confirm, therefore he sent me a text saying that it was a joke, and saying that he was forced by a friend.
Months pass and I've noticed that he has acted really homophobic, sexist towards women, and advertised relationships with women that are found to be fake. Even though I have talked with him about gay marriage, he always switches from his claim that god hates it (even though he has told me he's an atheist, where we live you have to 'come out' as an atheist too!) Or that he is 'not gay so it doesn't concern him'(even though he always mentions about gay stereotypes or gay in general). As his friend, I don't want to 'out him' (but I have yelled at him for his bullshit) but I am tired of this complete false nature, because I am gay myself (closet, soon though!) and I refuse to be tarnished as well as seeing people that will be hurt by him in the future (false GFs..etc). How do I confront him about this without hurting him?
Please keep in mind:
1. Where we live, there isn't much homophobia but there is very much straight culture and not much gay representation, so people assume you're straight and are very open to talk about straight sex, porn, blahblahblah
2. Most of his friends are not very supportive of him so that might be a reason for his nature
Last year my friend 'came out' as a gay to me, I somewhat thought that he was based on how he reacted (not acted) to some situations (he also called people faggots - sorry for using the word) but I believed that I asked too many questions because I was trying to confirm, therefore he sent me a text saying that it was a joke, and saying that he was forced by a friend.
Months pass and I've noticed that he has acted really homophobic, sexist towards women, and advertised relationships with women that are found to be fake. Even though I have talked with him about gay marriage, he always switches from his claim that god hates it (even though he has told me he's an atheist, where we live you have to 'come out' as an atheist too!) Or that he is 'not gay so it doesn't concern him'(even though he always mentions about gay stereotypes or gay in general). As his friend, I don't want to 'out him' (but I have yelled at him for his bullshit) but I am tired of this complete false nature, because I am gay myself (closet, soon though!) and I refuse to be tarnished as well as seeing people that will be hurt by him in the future (false GFs..etc). How do I confront him about this without hurting him?
Please keep in mind:
1. Where we live, there isn't much homophobia but there is very much straight culture and not much gay representation, so people assume you're straight and are very open to talk about straight sex, porn, blahblahblah
2. Most of his friends are not very supportive of him so that might be a reason for his nature