Parent

Hi Mary,

First off, Sorry for the late response. It's been a busy couple of months. Having a mother myself who is not understanding, or supportive at all, I'll give you some feedback on what I wish my mother would do to be more supportive, and more understanding. Matt and I do not have children yet, so I can't speak from a parents point of view, but I can speak from the point of view from a kid, who wants a more understanding mother.

First off, I wish my mother would show a (non-judgmental) honest interest in my life. Ask me about who I am with, how I feel, do I see a future with said person? Things like that may seem small to you, but could be huge to your daughter.

Second, be understanding. (I know that's what she is asking for) But let her know that you are trying to understand. Sure you may not know what it is like to be going through exactly what she is going through, but try to relate it to a similar experience you had in life. The more she feels you have gone through something similar so you may be able to understand a little more the more open she is going to be when it comes to coming to you.

Just try talking to her in a cool, calm, and collective way. Usually when kids say "it's easy for you" "You don't get it" "You're not going through what I am going through." Things like that are cries for help. It is their way of saying "I want to talk to you. Maybe you can help me figure this out." When they are to scared to say those actual words.

Next time she says "Easy for you to say" or "You don't get it." Ask her, honestly, ask her to explain it to you. Explain to you what she is going through. What she is feeling, that she thinks you're not feeling, or you haven't felt, and I bet you will be able to relate it back in your life to a similar feeling you once had, and you may be able to use that experience in your life to help her, and to help bring you two a little closer together.

I hope this helps a little. Like I said, not having children of our own it's hard for me to provide feedback on this topic, but I tried to use what I know from when I was younger to help you a little. I was the child saying "Easy for you to say" or "You don't know what I am going through." And I know what I was actually wanting to say by saying those things, so hopefully this helps some! Let me know if there is anything else I can do to help, and let us know how it goes!
~Matt