Post by OscarE on Jul 29, 2016 9:22:36 GMT -6
I have an 17 year old son who has come out to his mother and I, in the last year or so, that he is bi. We'd known or assumed much earlier, and always told him we are here to talk and we love him regardless and will never judge him. We support him in every aspect of his life to the best of our ability.
He's a good kid. He gets good grades, participates and excels in sports and has a very good work ethic. He has told us that there is some bullying at school but insists that he doesn't let it bother him. Just that he can't wait to get out of this town.
Here's where some of the problems lie. We live in small town rural America. I know that being openly gay or bi presents challenges regardless of where you live but living in a small town compounds those challenges. It also creates a lack of peer support. Let's not forget at 17 he's got a lot of pent up hormones and wants to express himself sexualy. As parents we want to support him but protect him at the same time. He has two younger brothers and they are all treated equally. As parents we occasionally confiscate phones and devices to make sure they aren't doing things they shouldn't. I would like to think we run a fairly reasonable and liberal household, so sure there are things we see that we may not like but we don't get to worked up about it. He on the other hand is constantly exploring and communicating with people he doesn't know on the web or through social media sexually. I feel like this is dangerous and he runs the risk of putting himself out there for sexual predators, or worse, that are preying on individuals like him that don't have many relationship options and battling issues with low self esteem. We have addressed this issue on a number of occasions and expressed our fears and concerns. He always says he understands and won't do it anymore but never holds true to his word.
I guess my question is....Do we continue to address the issue like before? Part of me feels like we are taking away one of the only means he has to express himself but I am still fearful as a parent that something may happen to him, physically or emotionally that would be very hard to recover from.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. We are trying to learn as we go.
He's a good kid. He gets good grades, participates and excels in sports and has a very good work ethic. He has told us that there is some bullying at school but insists that he doesn't let it bother him. Just that he can't wait to get out of this town.
Here's where some of the problems lie. We live in small town rural America. I know that being openly gay or bi presents challenges regardless of where you live but living in a small town compounds those challenges. It also creates a lack of peer support. Let's not forget at 17 he's got a lot of pent up hormones and wants to express himself sexualy. As parents we want to support him but protect him at the same time. He has two younger brothers and they are all treated equally. As parents we occasionally confiscate phones and devices to make sure they aren't doing things they shouldn't. I would like to think we run a fairly reasonable and liberal household, so sure there are things we see that we may not like but we don't get to worked up about it. He on the other hand is constantly exploring and communicating with people he doesn't know on the web or through social media sexually. I feel like this is dangerous and he runs the risk of putting himself out there for sexual predators, or worse, that are preying on individuals like him that don't have many relationship options and battling issues with low self esteem. We have addressed this issue on a number of occasions and expressed our fears and concerns. He always says he understands and won't do it anymore but never holds true to his word.
I guess my question is....Do we continue to address the issue like before? Part of me feels like we are taking away one of the only means he has to express himself but I am still fearful as a parent that something may happen to him, physically or emotionally that would be very hard to recover from.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. We are trying to learn as we go.