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Post by cynthia on May 9, 2014 21:01:58 GMT -6
Hi my name is Cyn. Im 33 years old and I'm a Bisexual. I've know since I was eight years old that I liked both girls and guys. I never told anyone that was Bi until me my sister spoke when I was around 16, years to come I has my first girlfriend but our relationship was a secret, it only lasted about a year. After that relationship I only dated guys but still continued to have flings with girls. I then told my best friend I was bi after he came out to me. Still till this day only a few people know my current boyfriend knows and has been supportive, I feel trapped because I feel like can't be myself fully and I'm scared of what peoples reaction would be. Will my co workers parents ect treat me different? Will my brothers quit talking to me? I've been struggling with this all my life, I'm so afraid I'll loose the ones I love the most. What should I do?
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Post by Matt Stout on May 9, 2014 21:20:44 GMT -6
I would say... Be yourself. Don't be afraid to let people know who you REALLY are. Everyone will still love you for who you are. Yes, they may be shocked at first, but eventually the shock will wear off, and they will still love you just as much as always. Its becoming more and more acceptable these days to be gay/bisexual, so do not worry to much about how people will react. Your co-workers and parents wont treat you any differently... because when it comes down to it, you are still the girl they all love. Remember "Those who mind, don't matter, and those who matter, don't mind."
~Matt
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Post by Racheal Acuff on May 9, 2014 21:23:09 GMT -6
Cyn,
I myself have just recently accepted that I too am bisexual. I have never had a relationship with a girl but I have been attracted to girls and guys since Jr. High and was never more attracted to one sex over the other. I have had my fair share of flings with girls and enjoyed it very much but my soul mate just happened to be a guy.
I fully understand how you feel when it comes to dealing with family.The only ones who know are my husband, best friend Matt and I told my mom and that was the one person that I was most afraid of telling because my mom and I are close but she was surprisingly accepting...I don't know if it is because I am already married to my husband and she knows that I'm not going to get into a relationship with a girl, I didn't ask, the fact that I had her acceptance even though she doesn't agree with it was good enough for me. The rest of my family however doesn't know and I am not ready to tell them. They are very religious and it isn't worth my blood pressure being elevated. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't tell your family if that is something that you want to do.
I know being conflicted is sometimes the hardest emotion you can go through, and your concerns are completely valid. I can't tell you what they are going to say or how they are going to react, the best advice I can give you is tell them when your ready and willing to fully accept whatever their response may be. It may be exactly what you are hoping to hear and then it may be the complete opposite, either way you, yourself have to be ready to face full acceptance or full rejection. Then and only then should you tell the ones that you want to open up to.
If you have any other questions or need more advice Matt and I are always available to you 24/7 by phone, email, and here on the forums!
Much love,
Rae**
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Post by cynthia on May 9, 2014 21:33:05 GMT -6
Thankyou guys so much it means a lot that you are here for me. I think my mom will be ok but I don't think my dad will and my brothers because they are all church goers and I know how the feel about our community. Ive been thinking a lot about it cause some of my friends are so open and I envy that freedom, I'm gonna think long and hard on who I tell and when. Thanks again for your support
Love
Cynthia
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Post by Racheal Acuff on May 9, 2014 21:37:44 GMT -6
Cynthia,
Your very welcome for all the support! That is what we are here for! If you need anything else let us know!
Much Love,
Rae**
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Post by cynthia on May 9, 2014 21:52:32 GMT -6
I sure will it really means a lot
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Post by Matt Stout on May 10, 2014 0:53:31 GMT -6
Thankyou guys so much it means a lot that you are here for me. I think my mom will be ok but I don't think my dad will and my brothers because they are all church goers and I know how the feel about our community. Ive been thinking a lot about it cause some of my friends are so open and I envy that freedom, I'm gonna think long and hard on who I tell and when. Thanks again for your support Love Cynthia I completely understand the "Church going" aspect. When I came out my ENTIRE family.... disowned me. Over time my mother and I are back on speaking terms, however the rest of my family will NOT speak to me. Finally I had to accept that it is their loss not mine. If they are going to treat me the way they do, then I do not need them in my life to begin with. Just be prepared going into the situation, prepare for the worst, but hope for the best!  ~Matt |
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Post by cynthia on May 10, 2014 6:57:42 GMT -6
I do remember you saying that in your video, it's just hard because these are the people I love the most on this planet and it will break my heart to never see them anymore or hang out, so many memories will be erased. I just don't understand why who we love matters so much, as long as we are happen it shouldn't matter
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Post by Matt Stout on May 10, 2014 15:06:31 GMT -6
I do remember you saying that in your video, it's just hard because these are the people I love the most on this planet and it will break my heart to never see them anymore or hang out, so many memories will be erased. I just don't understand why who we love matters so much, as long as we are happen it shouldn't matter We can only hope that at some point in our life time that it will be 100% acceptable to love who we want to love, and not be judged, or ridiculed because of it. However, hopefully when you do come out, they will not be phased by it, and you wont lose the ones who you love. I am with you though, I do not understand why we have to lose people we love, just because we are being who we are.  ~Matt |
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Post by cynthia on May 11, 2014 21:18:48 GMT -6
Thanks Matt it really is one of those things that I shouldn't have to be afraid of, I hope the outcome is better than I think it will be
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