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Post by Racheal Acuff on Apr 8, 2014 17:45:11 GMT -6
It is very important that you understand our online forums are a place we have created for others to go for advice when going through rough times in life. With that being said our online forums are a judgment free zone. By creating account or posting on the online forums you agree to be judgment free to anyone posting on the site. Anyone found judging others will be ban from the forums, and any future benefits from LGBTSupport.org. With that being said...
As a survivor of domestic violence I wanted to create this forum as a safe place of discussion if this is a presence in your life. Domestic violence is mental, physical, and verbal. It is NEVER ok to place your hands on each other in any other way other than loving. It is NEVER ok to speak to each other in a way that causes either one of you to feel degraded or inferior, and it is NEVER ok to break each other down, causing each other to be mentally exhausted. As a victim I had to learn these lessons. As a survivor I am here to help. I am here to help you recognize if these are aspects of your relationship, or home life. I am here to help you find ways to get out, but most of all I am here to listen and tell you it's going to be ok and you are stronger than you think you are! I will be available to you 24/7 if you need help. Don't be afraid to ask, and as always if you are in immediate danger contact your local law enforcement. Domestic Violence takes lives everyday, if you are in a violent relationship or home,stand up, get mad and make the choice to stop being the victim and start being the survivor!! You can do it and I will be here to help you in any way I can!
Much Love,
Rae**
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2014 7:15:18 GMT -6
I'm really sorry to hear that this happened to you. I'm also glad that you managed to escape it and become a very strong person from it. It's so sad to think that this still happens.
I haven't been a primary victim of domestic violence, but I've been a secondary victim. I remember growing up and seeing the violence that my father did to my mother, it was hard and it'll always be stuck in my mind.
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Post by cynthia on May 10, 2014 7:41:51 GMT -6
I'm sorry you went through that both of you, I'm a survivor and I also have become this strong brave person because of it. I'm now in a healthy relationship where we both respect one another and life is better. I'm glad I have a place to talk about this so here's my story. I was 21 when I met my 29 year old boyfriend the first year together was a bit rocky friend the start because six months into the relationship I found out he smoked crack, instead of leaving I stayed with him and tried to help him kick the habit. Two years in the abuse started I remember the day after our two year anniversary, we got in a fight and he spit on me, I was so upset I left and went to a friends house. After that the hitting began, on the Fourth of July I came home from work and he was drunk, we got into and while I'll was standing with the refridger door open he pushed me into it cause the inside to break, someone in our building called the cops, but I said we just had a disagreement. It only got worst from there if I went shopping and brought a new shirt he would asked me if it fits pretty much saying I'm fat, he screwed up myself esteem so bad. At the time we were both bad into coke and pills that I believe that what made him so abusive even though there's no excuse. So many times have he pulled my hair, hit me and cried how if I lefted him he would kill himself. So what did I do stay with him, until one night I came home from work and we got into because I was trying to stay sober and he was doing drugs behind my back, that night he choked me and I remember saying I can't breathe and he said good. That night he went to jail. I moved out and stayed with my parents. I started college and tried to put my life about together, he gets out of jail and well I got back with him. I moved back in with him to another city and the abuse started yet again, on the night of our seven year anniversary we get home and started drinking, I felt a little weird and all of a sudden he wanted to leave at one in the morning, I knew if was for drugs but I was too messed up to fight about it. The next morning I put two and two together I looked at the glass I had from the night before and saw something in the glass, he confess that he was dropping pills in my drink. I couldn't believe he had drugged he. A year later we were done for good we got into a fight because he said he was going to watch basketball with his friend, he comes home and his friend he was going to hang out with was texting him all night asking where he was. I asked him about it and next thing I know I have a busted lip. That night he went to jail and we were done for good. I moved back with my parents sobered up for good and started back at college for a career in drug counseling. I then met the best thing that has happened to me. My current boyfriend has never done drugs so that was a win win for me we now share a home and life couldn't be any better. I graduated college and I'm still looking for a job in counseling. This past relationship has made me become a better person and fight the the happiness and love I derseve to have. I set goals and reached them, I'm glad I made it through the hell and is able to share this story. Thanks for reading
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Post by cynthia on May 10, 2014 8:00:49 GMT -6
I forgot to add I've been sober for 3.5 years now
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Post by Racheal Acuff on May 10, 2014 23:11:50 GMT -6
Cynthia,
First off, congrats on being sober for 3.5 years! That's an amazing accomplishment along with graduating college and turning your life around. Speaking from experience leaving an abusive relationship is the hardest thing someone can do. In the mental state that subjecting yourself to that type of abusive can do you always think it will get better, things will change and they will stop. Sadly that's not the case. Once an abuser, always an abuser. They know the power they have over you and the only way for you to escape it is to leave and not look back. So once again praise to you that you left and made yourself a better, healthier person.
Much Love,
Rae**
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Post by cynthia on May 11, 2014 21:16:07 GMT -6
Thankyou it was the hardest relationship that I was ever in but the only good outcome is that I made it out and will never put up with it again because it's not worth my health or happiness
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Post by Matt Stout on May 11, 2014 21:21:46 GMT -6
Thankyou it was the hardest relationship that I was ever in but the only good outcome is that I made it out and will never put up with it again because it's not worth my health or happiness I am glad that you were able to get out of the relationship, and that you have been made stronger because of it! I am glad that you will never have to put up with it again! ~Matt |
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Post by cynthia on May 13, 2014 10:38:23 GMT -6
Thanks Matt even if someone acts like they are going to hit me it's over, I hope someone reads this and it helps save their life
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Post by Racheal Acuff on May 13, 2014 16:26:52 GMT -6
That's how I feel. If even just one person reads my story on their worst day and it helps them in any way then I consider what I am doing a complete success!
Much Love,
Rae**
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Post by cynthia on May 15, 2014 17:55:07 GMT -6
Right that's the first time I ever wrote it out it was hard but after re reading it I felt so proud that I left that situation
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